7.17.2013

Yes, I am Judging You!

I often hear people (especially on Twitter) say that as parents (specifically moms) we need to stop judging each other. In many cases I do agree with that; breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, co-sleeping vs. crib sleeping, cloth diapers vs. disposable diapers. Those are all trivial matters to which I say: as long as your baby is being fed enough, has a place to sleep, and diapers are being changed often enough; who are we to judge?

But some issues are serious enough that you're damn right I am judging YOU.

My latest irk that has me on judge overload is parents leaving children in cars. Especially hot cars. There have been countless news stories over the past few weeks of children (and pets) being rescued in sweltering hot cars and even a couple tragedies of children who lost their lives due to this kind of negligence.



When you decide to have a child you are deciding to put that life above what is convenient for you. That means taking your child out of the car, bringing them along for a one minute errand, and then putting them back in the car. I don't care if you have to repeat this sequence 20 times a day. I don't care if your cranky baby just finally fell a sleep and you don't want to wake them. I don't care if your child is having a mega meltdown about going in the store. I don't care if you're so busy you 'forgot' you have a child with you. Nothing you say, no excuse you make to make yourself feel better will ever make you leaving your child in the car okay. It's wrong. This isn't a debatable issue. It's a judge-able issue.

On a hot day your car becomes so hot you could bake cookies in it or fry an egg. Imagine what that powerful heat does to a child.



When you first shut your car off it may not feel that hot because you had your A/C blasting the whole time, but when you shut the car off the temperature rises fast. According to weather.com If the temperature outside is 32C, after about 10 minutes the inside of your car will be 42C and after 20 minutes it will be about 50C and so on. A child's body cannot regulate that kind of heat. A few minutes in the car can cause serious damage to your child's health (shock, stroke, etc) and it can even cause them to die.

The proven risk of death or serious brain injury to your child in a matter of minutes should be more than enough reason not to leave your child in the car, but in case you need more convincing of how stupid it is to do so think about it from the eyes of the Children's Aid Society. The CAS doesn't have clear guidelines on when it's okay to leave a child alone, but it does use 10 years old as a guideline paired with the parental knowledge of their own child's readiness. They still point out that a parent is responsible for providing adequate care arrangements until the child is 16. So we should be able to agree that if you shouldn't leave your young children alone at home until (let's say 10 years old) then you shouldn't leave your 9 month old, 2 year old or 4 year old alone in the car either. No matter the weather. No matter the location. No matter the reason. They are too young. It's neglectful for a parent to do so. And neglect is a form of child abuse.

"But my parents did it to us and we didn't die"

Congratulations! You survived! But many did die. You just weren't aware of it and because of it many things have changed since you were a kid. For instance, we now use seat belts, we put our children in car seats, we don't ride in the back of trucks, we don't use lead paint, and we don't leave young children home alone.

So stop making excuses for when its okay to leave your child alone in the car. Stop trying to reason that it's only a few minutes and they'll be fine. Stop being a lazy parent with no control over your kids. Remember that you are the parent not your child. You know best, not them.



MY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:



1. I think it's a sad world when we have to suggest that you leave your purse or cell phone beside your child's car seat in order to remember you have a child, but since that's the advice from the police then I'll pass it on here: do what you have to do to be the best parent you can be. If you think this habit will help you remember that you have children, then do it.



2. Lock your car when parked so other children playing won't open your door and lock themselves inside your car.



3. If you see a child left alone in a car call 911 and get the child out of the car.



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